


Lab Notes 01: Food Poisoning

by BaronetCoins



Series: Lab Notes [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Author is not a scientist, Bad Ideas, Drunken Shenanigans, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mad Science, Space Magic, What Was I Thinking?, bad lab saftey, questionable vegetables, was just going to be silly and then took an unexpected turn towards sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 13:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18811957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronetCoins/pseuds/BaronetCoins
Summary: While under the influence, Sable decides that it sounds like a good idea to grow hive influenced plants. But all good experiments need a test subject, and she can't find anyone who will try her suspicious vegetables. Enter the Drifter,  a man who's always hungry





	Lab Notes 01: Food Poisoning

**Author's Note:**

> This story includes vomiting though not graphically, so be warned.

“Sable,” Ayin slurred from across the table. “What if you were to like try and grow plants but in like hive soil.”

”I don’t know how vegetables work though,” Sable took a small sip of her drink and looked across the crowded table. Slumped down in chairs at one end were the two Exos, Thyme wearing Tiern’s cloak and Tiern using her mark rolled up as a pillow. Ayin was still sitting upright but only barley. She was almost out herself.

”I can teach you!” Ayin reached out to poor herself another drink. “You just need to do like the science and stuff.”

”I can do the science,” Sable said, leaning her chin on the table and closing her eyes.

Under the table, Virgo sighed at her.

* * *

”So what are we doing today?” Virgo asked, buzzing around Sable’s head. She swatted at her, frowning as they opened the lab door.

”We’re going to pay someone not hungover to bring us hive soil and rock samples, and then we’re going to test them, and then we’re going to grow vegetables in them,” Sable slung herself down into her stool and reached out her hand for a transmated cup of coffee.

”Should I post it as a bounty?” Virgo asked, turning to set up the machinery. She tinkled with a small laugh as she blasted the music in the little laboratory.

”Please do,” Sable said, determined to ignore the music. It wasn’t Virgo’s playlist, meaning that it wasn’t terrible.

She leaned down on the desk, trying to swallow some coffee and get her brain working again. Virgo whistled along with the music, preparing instruments and tests. The lab was bright white with lots of light and not a single window. Sable found that useful for pulling all nighters and generally ignoring day night cycles.

A loud whistle announced the arrival of her samples, and Sable dashed over to the wall and supply tube. Virgo cheerfully dragged out trays and slides as she took out container after container of dirt. Possibly dangerous, probably magical dirt.

”Normal soil tests?” Virgo asked more cheerfully than she had a right to at this hour of the morning. 

”Let’s start there,” Sable said, pulling on her gloves and goggles. “Send Ayin a message asking what vegetables we should grow, and what conditions they need.”

”On it!” Virgo began to scan the trays full of hive dirt while Sable pulled some onto a microscope slide.

* * *

Sable stretched and peeled her cheek off of the lab desk, noting the lack of music and dimmed lights. She flashed a grateful smile at Virgo, who was sitting dormantly on top of a shelf.

When she turned around to look at the trays under the growth light Sable did a double take. The trays were full of beautiful, happy looking tomatoes and lettuce.

”Virgo? Look for poisons, anything that could be toxic, radioactivity, or anything else in those vegetables,” Sable frowned. “How long have I been asleep for?”

”Just 12 hours,” Virgo fluttered down to the vegetables and began scanning. Sable glanced at the drained cup of coffee on the other counter and sighed.

”Can I get more coffee?” She asked.

”I don’t know, can you?” Virgo tittered. Sable sighed, but scraped herself off of her seat and dragged the coffee cup off to the coffee machine. She choked down a cup right there, and poured herself another to take back to the lab.

”Nothing obviously wrong with it I could see,” Virgo said and turned to sit on Sable’s shoulder.

”Nothing that would have increased the growth speed?” Sable patted the little ghost. She whined an affirmative.

”So nothing unusual?” She asked incredulously. “Nothing at all?”

”I didn’t see anything,” Virgo said, and buzzed back over to scan it again. “Which is unusual itself.”

”I’m not going to eat them.” Sable stared at the two trays.

”If I had a mouth, I wouldn’t either.” Virgo joined her in looking at them.

Sable turned and walked back to her cup of coffee. “Call the rest of the gang. Ask them if anyone wants to eat a salad for science.

Virgo hummed momentarily, sending the message and swapping through her music, settling on Thyme’s playlist again. Sable swirled her coffee and contemplated her life choices.

”The answers are settling in as a resounding no,” Virgo said disappointedly. “People think it’s ‘dangerous’ and ‘probably suicidal’.”

”Really?” Sable sighed. “Not even one of them?”

”Tiern in particular suggested you take them and shove them somewhere unsavory,” She snickered.

”Post a bounty?” Sable sat with her head on her hands. “Ask one of the more foolish hunters?”

”It’s been posted, but I’m not holding my breath for you,” Virgo zoomed out the door. “You should take a break! Get some real food!”

”I’m good, I’ll just get another cup of coffee.” Sable yawned. Virgo zipped back and engaged the transmat. She blinked herself back awake as she fell into the tower plaza with a thud. Virgo snickered.

”How about you go get some food?” She poked Sable in the shoulder. “Take a walk, get some air, see something outside of your lab for once in your life.”

She shrugged and stood up, dusting herself. The wind ruffled her hair and her robes, brushing off a bit of dirt that had settled on her from her experiments. Sable followed her nose off towards a small food stand down along some side streets selling some sort of spicy meat hand pie.

She settled down into the seat, and ordered one, passing along a little glimmer to the shopkeeper with some extra for a tip. The man next to her chuckled.

”You look a little haggard sister,” He said, looking over at her. “Somethin’ on your mind?”

”Have an experiment running that I can’t quite resolve,” She said, sighing. “Been told that I need to ‘take a break’ and ‘get some sleep’.”

”A workaholic eh?” He chuckled again. “What’re you working on?”

Sable perked up at the opportunity to discuss her research, her favorite subject. “Well, we were hanging out and my clanmates started talking about what would happen to foodstuff influenced by the hive. I managed to grow some vegetables in hive soil, but can’t find anyone to try ‘em.”

”Look, free food is free food,” The man said. “I’ll do it for ya.”

”Please do!” Sable seized one of the napkins and a pen and started to scribble down her address. “Just come here to the lab. I’ll need to keep you under observation for a day or so, just for the expiriment’s sake.”

The man swiped it off the table, and wandered off a back alley. Sable grabbed her food and tore into it, not having realized how hungry she was.

”Sable,” Virgo hissed at her. “That was the Drifter.”

Sable glanced up at her in surprise. “It was?”

”Goodness you’re as thick as a stone pillar sometimes.” She sighed. “And you gave him our address and invited him to come to our lab.”

”Funny how it’s our lab once you get upset,” Sable muttered. “And he’s mostly harmless.”

Virgo huffed and sent them both back to the lab. She laughed at the little robot sulking around the lab, slamming drawers and looking pathetically back at her. The ghost frowned, and buried herself down into a corner to sit and look sad. Sable pulled a cot out of the storage closet and laid down to sleep.

* * *

”Hey there sister” Sable blinked at the man standing in her doorway. “Bad time?”

”No, come on in.” She sat up blearily. “I’ll start prepping the veggies into something, and you can… sit down and fight Virgo over picking the music? You’ll have to be here for a while.”

The Drifter perched on her cot, watching her movements carefully. “Sounds good to me.”

Sable ruffled through her drawers, searching for a bowl and one of the knives Ayin had left lying around, ignoring the light bickering over music happening in the background. She chopped up the tomatoes, sliding them into the bowl and tossing them in with the lettuce leaves. The Drifter’s eyes never left her hands, following her from countertop to countertop.

”Ta-da!” She turned around to hand it to him. “First you eat it, then we wait.”

He accepted it, and scarfed it down with his fingers before Sable could look for a fork, and handed the bowl back to her.

Sable pulled out her datapad and set up her basic lab notes, before swapping back to a set of old data she was still analysing. The Drifter pulled out a small jade coin, and began to throw it around. Virgo settled onto a high perch to observe.

* * *

**2 hours later**

”Should your Ghost take your vital signs and send ‘em to Virgo, or do you Virgo to do it herself?” Sable asked from her seat.

”Mine can do it,” He said, and held out his palm. The Ghost gave him a quick scan, and disappeared again.

Virgo uploaded the data to her datapad and perched on her shoulder, giving the appearance of reading with her. Drifter snickered at it, and ducked a thrown magnifying glass.

”Your vital signs are normal ish, maybe a little off but nothing to be concerned about yet,” She read off. “Tell me if you start getting sick.”

* * *

**3 further hours**

”I think I’m going to puke,” Drifter announced. Virgo zipped to place a trash can underneath him. He groaned and hurled. She chittered, but scanned him.

Sable typed madly, muttering to herself about symptoms and nausea as the Drifter rolled over on the cot. He started tossing and turning, flailing about on the bare cot.

”Is he having a seizure?” Sable asked, a little concerned.

”More like nightmares.” Virgo peered down at him.

Right on cue, the Drifter started to mutter about worms, and hunger, and then darkness. He screamed eventually, and lashed out. Sable moved to sit on top of a counter across the room to avoid getting hit.

”Virgo?” She said. “Make a note to ask him about if he gets nightmares regularly.” Virgo beeped a noise of assent.

* * *

When the Drifter woke up, he bolted. Actually ran out the door, hand hovering above the hand cannon stashed in his belt. Sable stared at him, watching him almost break the neck of a poor kinderguardian standing at the end of the hallway.

”Damn. If he won’t tell us about his normal sleeping patterns, we have a whole lot of useless data,” Virgo scowled.

”Poor man’s seen a lot,” Sable said, and turned to walk back into the lab. “Probably best we dispose of all of the leftovers.”

”Probably.

**Author's Note:**

> Take something weird because it's been floating around my head for a few days. Sable is my warlock who's a very sweet idiot. Virgo is also a good girl who deserves a lot in life. 
> 
> If you want to know what music Virgo is playing, Thyme's playlist is here- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRe8PEff-F3s46oQFS4xarexEGg8GVcZ1
> 
> Also, at this point I measure writing in terms of how much of a NaNoWriMo day it is now and this has been an entire day's worth in one day of life, so I would like y'all to know that you're getting more than 1/30th of a novel.
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Baro


End file.
